Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Why is it called getting on a soapbox?
I didn't look it up, but I assume it's from the idea of a make-shift platform to air your views. Well, I typically try to steer away from soap-box issues, but this one is just really weighing on me lately.
God hates divorce. I think we all know that. The idea of remarriage is not as black and white. Some believe that there is no exception to the divorce question, never permitting a divorced person to remarry. Others believe that there is only one exception that would allow a divorced person to remarry. Still others believe that specific situations can allow a divorced person to remarry regardless of the reason for their divorce. My point is not to discuss which is right, but I wish people would consider why many Christians believe that second option.
When two people are bonded in marriage and make a vow to God, they promise to be joined together until death parts them. When that marriage dissolves because of adultery, one spouse has "joined together" with someone else, obviously breaking the original marriage bond. It seems common sense to me that you can't be bound to someone who is bound to someone else. Where does that leave someone who is divorced from someone who is NOT bound to someone else?
I recently had a conversation with a divorced man that did not seem to be sure whether it would be fitting for him to remarry. I also have a divorced acquaintance on facebook that isn't even officially divorced, yet is now constantly referring to his "girl" and his love for her. In both instances, to my knowledge, their ex-spouse is not remarried. I think it is the saddest thing to give up on a bond that has a chance to be healed. Maybe it wouldn't ever happen, but why would you choose to be the one to finalize the break of something so sacred?
We live in a society that has the utmost disrespect for the marriage bond. It is such a sad thing, but God's people shouldn't let ourselves fall into that way of thinking. Know that marriage is a beautiful, sacred bond and as the Bible says - "What God has joined together, let no man separate." I think believers should always make sure that they are not the ones to break it.
God hates divorce. I think we all know that. The idea of remarriage is not as black and white. Some believe that there is no exception to the divorce question, never permitting a divorced person to remarry. Others believe that there is only one exception that would allow a divorced person to remarry. Still others believe that specific situations can allow a divorced person to remarry regardless of the reason for their divorce. My point is not to discuss which is right, but I wish people would consider why many Christians believe that second option.
When two people are bonded in marriage and make a vow to God, they promise to be joined together until death parts them. When that marriage dissolves because of adultery, one spouse has "joined together" with someone else, obviously breaking the original marriage bond. It seems common sense to me that you can't be bound to someone who is bound to someone else. Where does that leave someone who is divorced from someone who is NOT bound to someone else?
I recently had a conversation with a divorced man that did not seem to be sure whether it would be fitting for him to remarry. I also have a divorced acquaintance on facebook that isn't even officially divorced, yet is now constantly referring to his "girl" and his love for her. In both instances, to my knowledge, their ex-spouse is not remarried. I think it is the saddest thing to give up on a bond that has a chance to be healed. Maybe it wouldn't ever happen, but why would you choose to be the one to finalize the break of something so sacred?
We live in a society that has the utmost disrespect for the marriage bond. It is such a sad thing, but God's people shouldn't let ourselves fall into that way of thinking. Know that marriage is a beautiful, sacred bond and as the Bible says - "What God has joined together, let no man separate." I think believers should always make sure that they are not the ones to break it.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
My new year's resolution should have been...
I made a few resolutions and goals for the year. I'm not too strict on myself with these things because I know every day is a new start, I don't need to change calendars to feel like I get a "do over." Well, one that didn't make the cut is to finish projects that I start.
I love to do crafty things and I am probably the most motivated craft starter that I know. Craft finisher? Different story. The truth is, it's a hereditary problem I inherited from my mom. Growing up, I thought it was normal to have material cut into pieces from a pattern with the pattern piece pinned to it long after you outgrew the size it was cut. haha Okay, so maybe I knew it was procrastination, but the truth is that I have a few patterns cut out myself, just waiting to be sewn... half-done scrapbook pages... half-done knitted projects... crocheted flowers with nothing to add them to... material waiting to be flowered headbands... the list goes on!
Among the projects I love to do is embroidering cards. It's great fun, but I have made the bad habit of waiting to send out notes until I have embroidered an appropriate card. Knowing myself and my procrastination habits means that I have a list of encouragement cards and thank you notes that have been waiting for me to make cards. What is it about me that won't use a pre-made card? I mean, really? One of the notes I'm waiting to send is a male friend that opened his home when a friend and I needed it. It's a guy, is he really going to care whether it's an embroidered card or not? LOL
It's like I'm an over-achiever and also a procrastinator. That is such an unfortunate combo!
I love to do crafty things and I am probably the most motivated craft starter that I know. Craft finisher? Different story. The truth is, it's a hereditary problem I inherited from my mom. Growing up, I thought it was normal to have material cut into pieces from a pattern with the pattern piece pinned to it long after you outgrew the size it was cut. haha Okay, so maybe I knew it was procrastination, but the truth is that I have a few patterns cut out myself, just waiting to be sewn... half-done scrapbook pages... half-done knitted projects... crocheted flowers with nothing to add them to... material waiting to be flowered headbands... the list goes on!
Among the projects I love to do is embroidering cards. It's great fun, but I have made the bad habit of waiting to send out notes until I have embroidered an appropriate card. Knowing myself and my procrastination habits means that I have a list of encouragement cards and thank you notes that have been waiting for me to make cards. What is it about me that won't use a pre-made card? I mean, really? One of the notes I'm waiting to send is a male friend that opened his home when a friend and I needed it. It's a guy, is he really going to care whether it's an embroidered card or not? LOL
It's like I'm an over-achiever and also a procrastinator. That is such an unfortunate combo!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Proper Healing
"A healed wound doesn't still hurt." -Beth Moore
It is typical for people who have been divorced to seek out others who have had the same experience. For the past few years, when others talk to me about their experience I have noticed a common trend of them to adamantly insist that they have "healed" from the divorce. Sometimes these people have been divorced for a very short time, sometimes not. Most of the time, though, they will spew bitterness and resentment toward their ex-spouse in the same breath. It really makes me wonder what these people think being healed means.
I know there is not a specific time frame for the grief process. I also know that being healed doesn't mean you must be happy about the situation. I don't have the answer for what brings about healing. For me, I literally had an epiphany. I really woke up one day and saw my experience from a new perspective and never looked back. The counselor I saw at the time said that he wished all of his clients went through it that way, but that is rarely the case.
So, no, I don't know what the answer is. I only wish that people would allow themselves to go through the process. Don't be so quick to tell others you have healed.
If it still hurts, you're not there yet.
And that's okay.
It is typical for people who have been divorced to seek out others who have had the same experience. For the past few years, when others talk to me about their experience I have noticed a common trend of them to adamantly insist that they have "healed" from the divorce. Sometimes these people have been divorced for a very short time, sometimes not. Most of the time, though, they will spew bitterness and resentment toward their ex-spouse in the same breath. It really makes me wonder what these people think being healed means.
I know there is not a specific time frame for the grief process. I also know that being healed doesn't mean you must be happy about the situation. I don't have the answer for what brings about healing. For me, I literally had an epiphany. I really woke up one day and saw my experience from a new perspective and never looked back. The counselor I saw at the time said that he wished all of his clients went through it that way, but that is rarely the case.
So, no, I don't know what the answer is. I only wish that people would allow themselves to go through the process. Don't be so quick to tell others you have healed.
If it still hurts, you're not there yet.
And that's okay.
Monday, January 3, 2011
A lot can happen in a month
Well, I started babysitting the boys and it looks like it is going to turn into a permanent position. The boys just love me (and I love them, too!) and I think that really made the parents feel better. Saturday night when I arrived to babysit for the evening, they talked to me about keeping the boys for a couple hours every day - picking them up for school, after-school activities and fixing dinner. I am in LOVE with this idea! There is one night every week that I won't be able to do that because of school and another where I will only get to do part of it in order to get to a later class. Even so, I think it will be great and I am so excited to start! Then, I'll go full-time this summer and I'll have an adventurous summer, coming up with different things to do with the boys every day. I can't wait! The best part is that I get along with the boys so well. I asked them recently if they wanted me to come back and play with them (I was already scheduled to come a couple days later) and the youngest whispered, "I wish you would stay forever and ever." It completely melted my heart! I LOVE how kids are so willing to love someone and trust so easily. It's kinda sad that we lose that and put our guard up so much as adults!
My work at Williams-Sonoma has slowed down and my position will soon be over unless I tell them I want to stay there permanently. With the recent babysitting gig, I'm not sure if WS will be willing to work with my availability hours, but we'll see! Next semester is going to be very time consuming, so I'm not sure if I'll be available enough to make it worth their while.
I'm still trying to work my AdvoCare business, and I feel like it will be easier for me to talk to people since so many have New Year Resolutions about getting healthier! I am definitely a believer in AdvoCare, but I'm always nervous about telling people about it because I never want someone to think I'm only telling them to make money. I was MORE comfortable telling people about AdvoCare before I became a distributor, but then someone else would get the profit. Kind of a catch 22! I'm hoping that I make it a success because I know it CAN be if I make up my mind to do it!
The month of December was a little crazy. Things got really hectic at WS leading up to Christmas. I worked 50 hours one week! It was nice for the paycheck, but I just need several weeks like that in order to make it on a WS salary. Ben came to visit for a few days and that was fun, as always. We didn't do anything, really, but we just have a good time together. I made him a neck-warmer since he was on his way to PA for the holidays. He said it worked out quite well while snowboarding!
Speaking of me and crafts, Mom and I have been on a knitting/crocheting kick lately and hopefully we'll have some things to sell soon. I'm hoping that can bring in a little extra income. I cut material for jersey-knit scarf tonight, but I have to wait until Mom gets home to figure out her sewing machine. I miss mine! Need to dig out the pedal from my storage. I have everything else here (long story!) so one of these days I'll have my own machine again. :)
My parents left on Christmas Day to head to California to visit with Michael, Hannah and the kids. I know they're enjoying their time! It's been quiet here, but I was long overdue for the alone time, so I've really enjoyed being here. I'm quite an emotional person, but try not to let others see my emotion, so to an outsider, my alone time might look like depressed time (there's a bit of crying going on!) but it's just a release of pent-up emotions and doesn't last long. Unfortunately, though, that mood hit me on New Years Eve so I stayed home by myself. Ben was back in town with his sister and they were planning on me to hang with them, but I couldn't pull it together long enough to be social. I was so bummed afterwards, but oh well! I've been sick for the rest of the week, but I think I'm feeling better enough to start running again tomorrow. I took a 2-week hiatus, not on purpose, from running and am a little nervous about how big a set-back that will prove itself to be.
Whew! Okay, so much more to say but this post is entirely too long already. If I would just blog more often, they wouldn't be so stinkin' long!
My work at Williams-Sonoma has slowed down and my position will soon be over unless I tell them I want to stay there permanently. With the recent babysitting gig, I'm not sure if WS will be willing to work with my availability hours, but we'll see! Next semester is going to be very time consuming, so I'm not sure if I'll be available enough to make it worth their while.
I'm still trying to work my AdvoCare business, and I feel like it will be easier for me to talk to people since so many have New Year Resolutions about getting healthier! I am definitely a believer in AdvoCare, but I'm always nervous about telling people about it because I never want someone to think I'm only telling them to make money. I was MORE comfortable telling people about AdvoCare before I became a distributor, but then someone else would get the profit. Kind of a catch 22! I'm hoping that I make it a success because I know it CAN be if I make up my mind to do it!
The month of December was a little crazy. Things got really hectic at WS leading up to Christmas. I worked 50 hours one week! It was nice for the paycheck, but I just need several weeks like that in order to make it on a WS salary. Ben came to visit for a few days and that was fun, as always. We didn't do anything, really, but we just have a good time together. I made him a neck-warmer since he was on his way to PA for the holidays. He said it worked out quite well while snowboarding!
Speaking of me and crafts, Mom and I have been on a knitting/crocheting kick lately and hopefully we'll have some things to sell soon. I'm hoping that can bring in a little extra income. I cut material for jersey-knit scarf tonight, but I have to wait until Mom gets home to figure out her sewing machine. I miss mine! Need to dig out the pedal from my storage. I have everything else here (long story!) so one of these days I'll have my own machine again. :)
My parents left on Christmas Day to head to California to visit with Michael, Hannah and the kids. I know they're enjoying their time! It's been quiet here, but I was long overdue for the alone time, so I've really enjoyed being here. I'm quite an emotional person, but try not to let others see my emotion, so to an outsider, my alone time might look like depressed time (there's a bit of crying going on!) but it's just a release of pent-up emotions and doesn't last long. Unfortunately, though, that mood hit me on New Years Eve so I stayed home by myself. Ben was back in town with his sister and they were planning on me to hang with them, but I couldn't pull it together long enough to be social. I was so bummed afterwards, but oh well! I've been sick for the rest of the week, but I think I'm feeling better enough to start running again tomorrow. I took a 2-week hiatus, not on purpose, from running and am a little nervous about how big a set-back that will prove itself to be.
Whew! Okay, so much more to say but this post is entirely too long already. If I would just blog more often, they wouldn't be so stinkin' long!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Never Burn Bridges (Or, God Works it Out)
Last spring, I met a woman and discussed being a nanny for her family during the summer months. We talked off and on for a while and two weeks before I was supposed to start working, she emailed me and said that although she wasn't planning on hiring someone else, she met someone who she thought would be a better fit for the job. I was so disappointed and started my email reply several times, but the irritation was always too evident so I would delete and start again. This happened over and over and finally I decided that not responding at all would be better. I don't like the idea of "burning bridges" and thought it was silly to be so upset since I didn't have an offer in writing or anything like that.
Well, fast forward to this morning. I got an email from the woman explaining that she realizes she made a mistake by not hiring me. The person that she hired instead didn't work out quite like she thought it would, so she wants to get an earlier start this time and asked if I would like to nanny for her this summer and babysit occasionally until then. How cool is that? I know it's months away, so it might not work out as I plan, but just knowing that I made the right choice by keeping my mouth shut feels great. It's true what the Bible says in Proverbs 10:19. "When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise." That's usually not the path I take, but I definitely recommend it.
Well, fast forward to this morning. I got an email from the woman explaining that she realizes she made a mistake by not hiring me. The person that she hired instead didn't work out quite like she thought it would, so she wants to get an earlier start this time and asked if I would like to nanny for her this summer and babysit occasionally until then. How cool is that? I know it's months away, so it might not work out as I plan, but just knowing that I made the right choice by keeping my mouth shut feels great. It's true what the Bible says in Proverbs 10:19. "When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise." That's usually not the path I take, but I definitely recommend it.
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